A man, called to testify at the IRS, asked his accountant for
advice on what to wear. "Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let him
think you are a pauper," the accountant replied. Then he asked
his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice. "Do not
let them intimidate you. Wear your most elegant suit and tie."
Confused, the man went to his Rabbi, told him of the conflicting
advice, and requested some resolution of the dilemma. "Let me
tell you a story," replied the Rabbi. "A woman, about to be
married, asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night.
'Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to your
neck.' But when she asked her best friend, she got conflicting
advice. Wear your most sexy negligee, with a V-neck right down
to your navel." The man protested, "What does all this have to do
with my problem with the IRS?" "No matter what you wear, you
are going to get screwed."