An old man and his wife had gone to bed. After lying in bed for a
few minutes the old man cuts a fart and says, "Seven points." His
wife rolls over and says "What in the world was that?"
"Touchdown. I'm ahead 7 to nothing." A few minutes later the
wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown, tie score." After about ten
minutes the old man farts again and says, "Touchdown, I'm ahead
14 to 7." Now starting to get into it, the wife quickly farts again
and says, "Touchdown, tie score." The old man, not to be
outdone, strains really had but to no avail. He can't fart! So he
gives it everything he has, trying for one more fart. Straining real
hard, the old man shits the bed. The wife asks, "What the hell was
that?" The old man replies, "Half-time ... switch sides."