An old man and his wife had gone to bed. After lying in bed for a few minutes the old man cuts a fart and says, "Seven points." His wife rolls over and says "What in the world was that?" "Touchdown. I'm ahead 7 to nothing." A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown, tie score." After about ten minutes the old man farts again and says, "Touchdown, I'm ahead 14 to 7." Now starting to get into it, the wife quickly farts again and says, "Touchdown, tie score." The old man, not to be outdone, strains really had but to no avail. He can't fart! So he gives it everything he has, trying for one more fart. Straining real hard, the old man shits the bed. The wife asks, "What the hell was that?" The old man replies, "Half-time ... switch sides."